Friday, April 15, 2011

Why marriage lets us send loneliness more

Some is famous the website is in a few big cities such as Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, Shenzhen, Chengdu, the female netizen that starts 25 years old of above speaks you " most the desire of common of Jing world be astonished " speak " inmost sound " participate in discussion female netizen 74% married, and in the group that there is stable marriage in these, 57% openness are in some phase of marriage, special longing once " only beautiful affair " , 24.5% what the number of yearning one-night standing also occupies married female netizen, this one scale almost with as good as of maiden female netizen. Be in charge of investigating this after seeking a lady to get this one very surprising data, say: Perhaps we have such longing on our wedding, marry what can solve the heart is empty with loneliness, married to be met with respect to or else doleful; But fact is as it happens contrary perhaps?

Dug of worth while perhaps and numerous married woman and soul-searching question are, why to marry very doleful still? This one issue should is in charge of by the man? If the man is far,realizing this is a big question, how ought to we do?

Will listen to married housewife people the acerbest discovery.

Discover A: His acceptance is moving crammer, actually he is not willing to change whit for me.

Hold the woman of this kind of viewpoint, marriage is in commonly " N year urticant " in condition, of the marriage of modern urticant have 3 years period, 5 years period, 7 years period with 11 years period say, (Very unfortunate, it is to marry the odd a particular year of anniversary, quite one part is odd a particular year is Gao Wei period, and even a particular year enters cooperative period) , from go up at all say, the marriage of modern is lying in the urticant predicament that itchs early longly again, 3 years, it is newly-married listless period; 5 years, it is to bear conflict period; 7 years, after bearing listless period; 11 years, complete suspicion period... say good word, the female of this one phase still arrives without love enough much encourage, meeting those who let their bear in mind constantly is, the oath before how many marriage went back on his word after man marriage, "Actually he is not willing to change whit for me " blame backside, be " he does not love me " the conclusion that such corrode bone injuries conceive.

Raise this kind of suspicion again when Zhang Yifei, her husband is enraged eventually, his ask in reply says: "Are you me to change whit? " Zhang Yifei lifted a lot of example to prove she already made tremendous sacrifice: She wants to do Ding Ke, and his whole family likes the child, then she gave birth to a son; She assumed the numerous chore that need not assume before marriage, include to wax to the floor reach plant on the lawn before the building tree, she is in charge of attending the relatives and friends that he comes, the husband of one's maternal aunt that includes to entertain him to demand medical service into Beijing lived in two months in them... " you do not make my approach these changes, " Zhang Yifei husband is elenctic say, wanting the child is yourself's maternity had arousal after 32 years old, think the life that has the child just is whole life; Because your itself is a completist,assuming chore is, any baby-sitter does housework, you think to be inferior to you considerate; The relatives and friends of come-and-go can live in originally leave home in not far hostel, but you think to come so, this expenditure is necessary come by us burden... Yi Fei can'ts help laughing, how does husband start to talk refute, became her to did not manage?

And above these " inequitable " , once tossed about in her heart how long, make her feel indignant, hold loneliness concurrently to not have according to. How does he start to talk think this is some of minor details? Yi Fei's husband asks then, "You criticise I do not wish to make sacrifice and change, say a bit more specific, do I want to know where you are opposite after all am I dissatisfactory? " Yi Fei within an inch of blurts out: "Do this still need me to talk? You is a bit self-knowledge done not have? " since be a dialog,think of nevertheless, must give patience, point out one by one come: Husband morning makes love not to agree bath; Eating potato together with the son on sofa piece hind, do not clean potato piece drossy; Him husband is not every day shampoo however 3 talents are washed, she has said for many times to him, she is fed up with the hair oil breath on the pillow that join system, still he forgot to hand in a mobile phone to expend on time time and again, is the mobile phone that brings about her stopped in the moment of truth machine... " be these problems? Which is materiality issue? Be cannot of Rao Shu? " how does she say to discover ant on sofa to him, and is the mobile phone is stopped a thing that makes a person rusty more? He comes instead blame she: If these bagatelle, you let me change euqally euqally, I wish to accept supervise. Pretty good, the birth of a good man, need side of feminine patience ground to teach, teach with respect to patient like growing need of the child side.

The man's essence is not self-conscious, this and child are not had different; The formation of all his self-conscious behavior, need wife gives enough patience, is not empty duty.

The female's code of conduct is: Habitual general " whether my consider is on detail " , enlarge is become " love does not love me " , and man not so think, he thinks " want the moment of truth and you to be together only, this loves namely " . The vast difference on means of this kind of thinking, also be to bring about a female to think " marriage does not have interest " , "Marital interior is very doleful also " one of main factors.

The analysis holds advice concurrently: You can change him, if you have enough determination and patience! The change needs the target of authentic, the man's memory is bad, do not try to change several kinds of his habits at the same time. Come euqally euqally, a kind when spend 3 months on average to change him " bad habit " , it is more reliable course of action. The as far as possible to him effort in the course that changing namely additionally does his utmost to praise, should do to know " appreciate is taught " clever wife. Jewel: 6 of happy marriage " patch "

Discover B: Make love, but the spirit with real lack blends

Look in the man, the communication between husband and wife should be everything " all be in not call the turn " , if make all sorts of skill take you into the climax,they feel, had surpassed thousands of words, carnal tacit understanding can arrive at the heart naturally. They often recount the bend course in the office on the bed to the woman, recount the difficulty that wife and mother, sisters-in-law concerns, in recounting lubricious to some affection film " betray with crammer " thematic view, the next in recounting marriage even " Five-Year Plan " should achieve what kind of goal, the man is met times feeling is amazed, he can feel inadequate rather investment mixes the woman absorption, "Why is her meeting of one mind amphibious? " " cannot my effort still make she forgets all this worldly trouble? "

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